addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
