How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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