Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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