Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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