these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
