Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
