It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize