The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
