Dual....:-)
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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