I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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