I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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