god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
