Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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