Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
