My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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