Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
