Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You left your phone here
Wait...
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