You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize