What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
