I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize