i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
