9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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