Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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