So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
