Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
