Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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