it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize