this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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