More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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