I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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