My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
please don't ironically join a cult
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