I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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