i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
are you so shy because you have an std?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
