marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
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