Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My brain says no but my pants say off.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
