Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Let's paint friendship bongs
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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