Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
