he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
