so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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