He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Dignity is for republicans.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
