I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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