Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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