Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
