Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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