its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
