My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
