so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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