Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
