Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
