If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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