I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
