did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
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I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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