Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize