Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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