im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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