hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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