im so drunk with asians
where?
always
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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