What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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