I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
