oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Dicks are not precious.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
