I love black thongs
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
