Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
