Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
